i have been exteremely behind in posting about PDL. last week was exhausting, both physically and emotionally. i have not, for the life of me, been able to blog about PDL because of some emotional turmoil that i went through and had had to deal with. retail therapy somehow worked, and talking to my good friends also helped.
Day 8 was about me being created for God's pleasure. the question was: What common task could start doing as if i were doing it directly for Jesus? hmmm... i think i should look at my job and make it a point of gratitude instead of something i just do everyday. i have been struggling at work. there are times when i just want to give up. it's not the people but the environment. i don't see people face to face anymore. sometimes i find it difficult to drive results from points of contact that just won't do what i ask them to do. and they're all far away. but this is what God had given me. this job went to someone else the first time i applied for it, and months later, i got it. for some reason, God must have planned it that way. i tried to leave for a couple of times, but i always end up staying. maybe i should see my job in a new light, and offer anything i do at work to Him.
Day 9: Since God knows what is best, in what areas of my life do i need to trust him more? everything. i have to put my trust in him for everything that i do. at this point, i am still partial about all that i'm reading. and that has to stop.
Day 10: What area of my life am i holding back from God? that has to be my sexual preference. i may end up sounding like a broken record, but this area of my life defines who i am. i still don't know what to do about it. a change of faith, is that equal to a change of heart? i don't know. if i had to change what i'm comfortable with for Him, then i will. but it will be my biggest challenge.
Day 11: What can i do to remind myself to think about God and talk to him more often throughout the day? every situation i am in is part of his plans for me. right now, i'm thinking about surviving a whole day at work without eating as part of my fasting. these are little sacrifices that i have to do for myself and i am asking Him to be with me at every step. imagine the two green tea muffins that i have beside my PC right now. i can smell it from my seat. i can imagine how the walnuts (my favorite) and the bread might taste like together, but i promised i wouldn't eat. so i won't.
Day 12: What practical choices do i have to make today to grow closer to God? surrounding myself with people who have the same objective would do. also, making time for Church. Sundays used to be the day when i rest from a night of drinking and merry making. that had to change. i want to hear more about Him to learn about Him. my reasoning that i have a personal relationship with God has gone stale because i clearly don;t understand Him that much on my own. soon, i might revert back to having that, but with better knowledge that i am getting from attending services of Victory and reading more stuff.
Day 13: Which is more pleasing to God right now, my private worship or my public worship? What will i do about this? i don't have any idea. being visible in public about my slowly increasing faith can be something He might be happy with. my private worship is simply thanking Him for anything that might not have happened in public. i am still in the process of writing down short prayers that i can live by everyday. it's like having my own, personalized book of prayers based on what i learn everyday.