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My soul's travels: PDL Days 3 and 4


For today i'll be focusing on days 3 and 4.

Day 3 was about what's driving my life. What are the things that guide/control/direct my life? Here are the examples given by the book: guilt, resentment/anger, fear, materialism and need for approval. I'm guilty of a few. I fear being unable to provide for myself. I fear being left by my family and friends. I want a lot of stuff. I want to be seen as somebody who can afford to do and have a lot of things. I want people to approve of me. I want to please everybody. These are things that i thought were okay, because they're basic human impulses. But i guess i was wrong.

The things that drive me should be my purpose, my purpose in life. It's not my purpose to appear intelligent with what i say. It's not my purpose to amass wealth that will go away anyway. It's not my purpose to be with the coolest people because cool is not always beneficial.

What i like about this book is that i don't know what my purpose is yet, but in just the first few chapters, it has made me feel excited about what they are. This book is in itself a journey for me. In today's service i almost cried. But i held back my tears. Because i didn't want to be seen as weak. I didn't want to be consoled because that meant i needed another person's strength. Holding back my tears made me realize all the more that i was wrong. And this book, this book that i never even thought was something that i'd like, is making me feel more wring about myself.

The question for day 3 was: what would my family and friends say is the driving force in my life? I don't know what they would say. But it definitely will not be pretty. I have shown them how shallow and materialistic i am.

Day 4 was a bit shorter, focusing on our lives being set for eternity. The question was: what are the things that i need to stop and start doing? Wow, this feels like a coaching session. Hmmm... I have to stop obsessing about my status. I have to stop judging people. I need to act with more thought. Being blatant is not always right. I need to make God as the center of my life. My friends might shiver hearing me say that. But i'd rather be ridiculed than die without believing in something.

Posted by jc_pagdanganan 22:31 Archived in Philippines Tagged soul_travels

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