A Travellerspoint blog

The case of the lovelife forgotten

sunny

I think, exactly two years ago, i broke up with Tom. Or he broke up with me. And i've never had a relationship since.

Old blog posts have reminded me of how i was after that break up. I was jaded, cynical with a wall around me, according to a good friend. I had sexual encounters that made more damage than satisfaction. It sounds fun kidding about it. It does. But i'm tired.

I have made several attempts to find love, or chase after guys. Mr. Big, and some other guys. Nothing happened. Maybe i should stop waiting. Maybe this move to improve my faith is a good step. Maybe the relationship i need is with God. But at the back of my mind, i still crave for that human touch.

Two years. Two years of running around, becoming a slut for some time, what have i gotten myself into?

I need to fix myself. Detox. Get cleansed of dirt that cling to my soul.

I am still hopeful, though my brain is telling me to focus my energy somewhere else.

If God decides that i'm ready, then that's awesome. I just hope He'll find someone who can fill this void and never go away. Again.

Posted by jc_pagdanganan 21:15 Archived in Philippines Tagged the_case_of

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