A Travellerspoint blog

Notes for my Heartbroken Friend

I have been in your place. I'm pretty much sure that sadness consumes most of your days, as minutes pass without him beside you.

I've seen you with him, through the years. I know how happy yoi were. I know how loved you felt you were. I know we thought he was the perfect one for you. I know we thought he was going to propose to you.

But all those are gone now, friend. Kaput. Nada. Zero. But, that doesn't mean that you should equate that to your self-worth, because you are no zero.

The thing about relationships is that, more than the unity of two individuals, the important factor is how you yourself grow as you meld with another person. It is how you mature while dealing with a partner. It is how you learn to adapt to a partnered life.

In the end, you always get something out of relationships, whether it's for forever or short-lived. You're lucky if you found the former. What if you found the latter?

Know that you are still you. There are nights when you find yourself longing for his hug or good night message. But before him, you managed to survive on your own. You didn't need to validate your existence from a person who did not need you in his. You are still <name>.

Celebrate the solo journey. Take time to re-evaluate how your life has been. I'm sure there are stuff that you wanted to do, but couldn't while you were with him. Take a baking class. Learn how to ride a bike. Travel to a new province/country. Embrace single-blessedness. Learn to appreciate your uniqueness that attracted people to you in the first place.

Forgive. I know. You still do not understand. Why did he have to leave you? Why did he have to say those things? Why? Holding on to these questions will place you in the same spot. Let it go. Focus on asking "What's next?" rather than waiting for a response. You will never get to that pot of gold unless you walk the whole damn rainbow. He clearly does not mind living without you. Respect that decision.

Know that people love you for who you are, single or not. Friends and family are there to remind you that you are not alone in this world. There are people who would embrace you. There are people who would watch movies with you. There are peope who would listen to songs with you.

There is nothing wrong with you. The relationship ended because he found reasons for not liking you. But that doesn't make you any less of a person. The silver lining is that, he may have found you undesirable, but he also lost a person who was willing to do things for him. And that's what makes you beautiful.

So girl, find the strength to put all your emotions in a bottle and label it "The Past". Keep it in a drawer and every day, whisper all the hurt that you feel in that bottle. The more you do it, the more you'll realize that the bottle will never be full, but you're still alive at the same time.

Relafionships can go either up or down. But as a person, you could always rise up. A relationship does not define your life. It just means you found someone to match your fabulous self. So love, learn, and live.

Posted by jc_pagdanganan 08:20 Archived in Philippines Tagged random_babbles

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