Today, I decided to uninstall Grindr, Hornet, and Growlr. And no, this is not a Lenten season post, like I'm in another epiphany. That's for another post.
"Why uninstall?", you might ask. Because clearly, nowadays, the easiest way to fuck around is by simply opening an app that tells me where the nearest tops are in my area. Right?
But, that's exactly why I have to give those apps up.
First, everything has been too easy. I get up, feel horny, connect to wifi/data, search for guys, get ignored, get responses, etc. It's the same old shit, over and over. I feel like the simplicity of finding someone to have for a night has been my pattern for so long, that even my relationships seem short-lived.
It's like I've conditioned myself that none of the boys I end up being in relationships with won't stay that long. Probably because I'm sure I could find someone else as quick?
So, no more easy. If I really want to look for something that may last longer, I should go back to the same old, same old meet-somewhere-then-date-then-develop-feelings-then-stay-together-longer.
It's probably going to be a bit difficult, and means I will have to literally go out. But, it's a start.
Second, I should stop fucking around. While I grew up thinking that every conversation with my closer friends should involve my latest conquests, I think it's time to end that. I'm Season 2 Carrie, I'll be 33 in a few weeks. I don't think I could endure what she had to in 6 long years.
The dating game didn't necessarily become any easier lately. It has become more complex and less affectionate, at least for me. I exchange a few humps in bed for what could have been an hour having dinner or something.
Sex has has become my new norm. Relationships became obsolete. Yet, the latter pierces like Veronica Lodge's quips: catches me off guard.
I've been in situations recently where I found myself asking, "Could this moment have been more memorable if I shared it with somebody?"
A drive around town to hunt for Pokemon, a super fast roller coaster ride in Hong Kong, a viewing of a live-action version of a Disney classic,the list goes on and on.
And while an orgasm may be quite fleeting, it's a memory that probably won't look good on Snapchat.