"Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment."
These are the action steps that were proposed by the publisher of the reading plan i'm following:
"Do you find it difficult to “let things go” when someone has hurt or offended you? We often judge others by their actions but ourselves by our intentions. Ask God to show you where you need to show mercy to others." Taken from here.
again, this has been very much on the spot. i have always said that i have no judgment over things that the people around me say or do. but i do. aside from judgment, i also have my way of excluding myself from the company of folks who i feel are not good for me. what's bad with that? i never tell them why, i never explain my thoughts or my feelings. too many times have i just run away from people without ever stopping to tell them what their faults were, or telling them what they need to do to change.
as what BJ said, i feel that people owe me the truth. and i thought that was my right, because as much as possible, i try to be true to anybody. it's only recently that i realized how selfish that was, to let people feel that they owe me everything. and when i've been wronged, i never forget. i always marked the people who have hurt me and limited my relations with them.
i think that forgiveness rings true when we completely forgive what people have done to us, the same way that we would want God to forgive us for everything that we have done that are not according to His will. the hard part is, we never forget. and mercy is lost when we forgive half-heartedly. the smart ones might say, "What if it's done over and over?" would that mean you will have to close your heart? will you not do things that might help the other person to stop doing the same thing to you?
we only get what we give. if we let people hurt us over and over without proactively doing anything to change stuff, then we're worse.
this is really hard for me. i'm at that point where i'm thinking about the people i should have said sorry to, instead of the people who should have apologized to me. and my ego is hurt. sorry is one of the hardest things to say. but i have to do it.
i pray Father, that i can muster the strength to apologize to the people i may have hurt in the past, or in the future. i pray that i start thinking less of what people owe me but what i can do for the people around me. grant me with the humility that i need, and the patience to wait for the right time that You set for me to fix my broken friendships. open my heart to the idea of forgiveness, in the same way that You forgive us with all our sins and bad decisions. let Your grace take over my heart and hopefully, everyone else will follow Your will.